Curriculum

Course II: Writing Effectively

Module I: Report Writing at FCA

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Module II: Deduction

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Module III: Paragraphs

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Module IV: Style

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Final Course II Review

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Text lesson

Hidden Verbs

Verbs are important because they show action in a sentence. When possible, therefore, you want to use strong, active verbs.

However, a common practice in much governmental and business writing is to change verbs into nouns. For example:

“assess” becomes “assessment”

“calculate” becomes “calculation”

The verb-into-noun transformation results in less emphatic prose, more words, and a prepositional phrase.

When you change a verb into a noun, you must find another–usually weaker–verb to introduce the noun. For example:

“assess” becomes “make an assessment of”

“calculate” becomes “perform a calculation of”

Typically, these hidden verbs end in “-ation” or “-ment.”

The practice of turning verbs into nouns is called “nominalization,” but we will use an easier phrase: hidden verbs.

The first step in eliminating hidden verbs is to learn to recognize them in our prose, and then the second step is to convert them into strong verbs. Notice how easy it is to liberate the verbs from these wordy hidden-verb phrases:

Hidden Verbs

make a determination of =	determine
require the issuance of =	must issue
revealed a correlation with =	correlated
pose a threat to =	threaten
provide assurance to =	assure
provide documentation of =	document
conducted periodic reassessments of =	reassessed periodically

Hidden verb constructions are ineffective for three reasons. First, they are wordy, as all of the phrases above demonstrate. Second, notice that these hidden verbs invariably add a preposition, such as “with” or “of,” at the end of the phrase; prepositional overuse is cited by the Plain Language Guidelines as a recurring problem in government writing. Third, because the verb in these constructions has been changed to a noun, the writer must find another verb, usually one that is less emphatic. So instead of a strong verb like “analyze,” we end up with “conduct an analysis of.” In short, hidden verbs violate at least two of the criteria for judging effective writing–conciseness and emphasis.

In the following presentation, we will review further details on hidden verbs.

Presentation

Carefully review the presentation below. Core details on the above content are explained in further detail, along with relevant examples.

Access video version of the presentation. (Optional, voiced-over version of the above presentation)

PRESENTATION TRANSCRIPT

Let’s review several sentences that have hidden verbs to see how to improve them.

This new method may cause reductions in repayment costs.

The hidden verb is “reductions,” and the verb form is “reduce.” The revised sentence is more concise, and the verb is more emphatic:

This new method may reduce repayment costs.

Here’s another one:

Since the July 31 examination, there was an improvement in WABC’s financial performance and condition.

The hidden verb is “improvement,” the verb form is “improve,” and the revised sentence reads:

Since the July 31 examination, WABC’s financial performance and condition improved.

Sometimes changing the hidden verb into an “-ing” form works. Take this sentence, for instance:

The elimination of these services at local institutions in the past has usually been accompanied by the elimination of most specialist positions.

The sentence has two hidden verbs—“elimination” and again “elimination.” If we change the first one to an “-ing” form—“eliminating”—and the second one to a verb, we end up with:

Eliminating these services at local institutions in the past has usually eliminated most specialist positions.

The original sentence was 22 words long, and the revised sentence is 15 words long—a reduction of 32%.

Here is another example where an “-ing” form works. Also, notice the hidden verb “analysis,” which we can change to “analyze.”

The transferral of these loans from non-accrual to accrual status has not been accompanied by a proper analysis of credit factors by association staff. (24 word)

Revision:

The association staff did not properly analyze credit factors when transferring these loans from non-accrual to accrual status. (18 words–25% more concise)

This following sentence has several hidden verbs—“designation,” “misrepresentation,” and “distortion”—that can be transformed into verbs.

The improper designation of loan classifications causes a misrepresentation of the risk in the loan portfolio and produces a distortion in the association’s general allowance for loan losses. (28 words)

Revision: Improperly designating loan classifications misrepresents the risk in the loan portfolio and distorts the association’s general allowance for loan losses. (20 words; 28% shorter)

Occasionally, a hidden verb is acceptable, particularly when it has a modifier attached or when the hidden verb is introduced by two verbs:

Acceptable: Management should provide additional direction relating to operational audits.

Acceptable: The bank achieved initial progress towards alleviating the unsatisfactory risk identification, credit administration, and risk control practices.

Acceptable: The plan update assesses the bank’s ability to handle additional criticized assets and achieve and maintain compliance with risk coverage goals.

Generally, however, hidden verbs can be converted to strong verbs, which adds emphasis to the sentence and achieves conciseness.

GREAT WORK! PROGRESS TO THE SECTION QUIZ.