Open with a Strong Topic Sentence
We saw in the previous section that a strong topic sentence with a focused controlling idea can help to unify a paragraph, but a topic sentence also helps with cohesion by setting up key terms. Take this topic sentence for example:
Asset quality has consistently improved over the past several years.
This topic sentence sets up several key terms that the writer can refer to throughout the rest of the paragraph. Repetition of key terms, as we will see in a moment, can be highly effective in tying together the support sentences in a paragraph.
Arrange Sentences in Logical Order
A logical organization, which is simply a reflection of a logical pattern of thinking, is the backbone of a coherent paragraph. If our thinking is coherent, and if we organize our sentences to reflect that thinking, our paragraph will have a basic cohesion. When a paragraph is organized in a clear and understandable way, readers can move through it easily because one thought leads to the next. For example, if we organize a paragraph chronologically, readers immediately (although perhaps unconsciously) recognize the structure and expect the sentences to be arranged according to a designated time sequence.
Paragraphs can be organized in many different ways, but there are six basic structures:
General-to-specific
Specific-to-general
Comparison/contrast
Chronological (time)
Cause and effect
Order of importance
Naturally, the type of organizational pattern we use will be determined by the content of the paragraph.
Repeat Key Terms
A major way of tying sentences together and of keeping the focus directed on the main idea within a paragraph is to repeat key terms. By picking up on an important word from preceding sentences, a writer can form a verbal bridge to the next sentence, though usually we try to repeat more than one key term.
In the following paragraph, what key terms are repeated, and how does that repetition help readers to follow the writer’s ideas?
During the association’s first 5 months of operations, the board and management initiated and operated an appropriate internal credit program. To perform the credit review, the association hired a knowledgeable individual with experience in the FCS. That individual conducted an ongoing review of the association’s loans and reported findings directly to the board. During its first 5 months, the association operated its credit review program similar to the model program presented by the bank. Operating in this manner permitted the association the time necessary to develop its internal credit review policies and procedures. Management drafted a policy that the board planned to adopt within 30 days. The association president stated the final policy and program would be similar to the bank’s model and committed to provide, upon adoption, a copy of the policy and program procedures to FCA for review and comment.
Notice two kinds of repetition within this paragraph: One is repetition of the main term from the topic sentence—“credit program,” which appears as “credit review” or just “review” —and the other is repetition in one support sentence of a term introduced in the preceding support sentence.
The paragraph opens with a topic sentence; the topic is “internal credit program, and the controlling idea is that its organization and operation were appropriate. Notice the bridges that the writer forms to help readers move from one sentence to the next. Sentence 2 repeat the key term “credit review” in the beginning of the sentence, and sentence 3 uses “That employee” to refer back to the person mentioned in sentence 2. Sentence 4 opens with “During its first 5 months,” which refers back to the topic sentence, which mentioned “first 5 months.” Sentence 4 also introduces a new concept—“model program.” Sentence 5 uses “this manner” to connect to the model program in sentence 4 and goes on to talk about developing “policies and procedures.” Sentence 6 picks up on the term “policy,” and sentence 7 repeats “policy” and “bank’s model” and concludes with a promise to provide FCA with a copy of the policy and procedures once they’re adopted. In short, the writer has conscientiously linked the sentences to form a closely knit paragraph, allowing readers to grasp the meaning quickly and efficiently.
Here is another paragraph that achieves cohesion through repetition of key terms.
By repeating terms from a previous sentence, the writer effectively links those sentences with a verbal tie. Almost every sentence verbally refers to earlier sentences and therefore connects itself to them, the whole paragraph being woven together by verbal links. The repetition helps to connect the sentences in the paragraph so that the sentences form one continuous chain.
Repetition of key terms is a simple technique, but many writers don’t think to use it when they’re composing. Try this technique as you draft, and you’ll be surprised how well it works.
Keep in mind that you need to achieve unity in a paragraph before you can achieve cohesion. So if you’re having difficulty making a paragraph cohesive, check to be certain that your support sentences all relate to the topic sentence.
Place key terms in the front part of support sentences.
Not only should you repeat key terms from one sentence to the next, but you should also place the repeated term in the front of the new sentence. Why? Because terms and information that are already familiar to readers are more psychologically accessible than new information or new terms.
This concept applies not only to terms, but also to information and ideas. Place familiar information and less complex ideas in the front of sentences, and place new information and complex ideas in the second half of a sentence.
The pattern to use is: familiar terms and information up front, new terms and new information later. This pattern is sometimes referred to as the “Old-New Principle.”
Here’s an effective use of this principle:
Last year, the association reported that “Nonperforming” loans declined from 17.8% of total loan volume to 15.1%. Much of that decline resulted from the reduction of “Nonaccrual” loans. Reported “Nonaccrual” loan volume declined from 10.5% of total loan volume to 5.8% in the preceding 12 months.
In the first sentence, the writer established the idea of “decline,” and the second sentence repeats that key term at the very front. A new piece of information about Nonaccrual loans is introduced in sentence 2, and that new information is placed later in the sentence. Then sentence 3 places the term “Nonaccrual” (which is now old information) at the front.
Here’s an example where the writer didn’t follow this principle:
The association reported total net income of $802,391 last year, which resulted in an ROA of 2%. Extraordinary items such as a $131,855 reversal to the allowance, $296,367 from loss-sharing income, and accrued interest of $231,182 on the assessment by the FAC were a significant portion of the total net income.
The first sentence set up “total net income” as a key phrase, but sentence 2 starts out with new information and then leads to the repetition of “total net income” at the very end. An easy fix to achieve cohesion would be to repeat “total net income” in the front of sentence 2 instead of at the end.
Next are two more example paragraphs to review. The first example is the original version of a paragraph, and you’ll see that it fails to achieve adequate cohesion. The second is an improved revision of the original.
Let’s see how the original version struggles and how the revision succeeds in making connections between sentences.
The nitrogen cycle is the process of transforming nitrogen from gases into usable nutrients. The atmosphere is the primary reservoir for nitrogen gases. To be used by living organisms, a conversion into a different compound must be accomplished on nitrogen gases. Fixation is the name of this conversion process. There are several ways that fixation can occur. When lightning creates extreme
energy during a flash, nitrogen is converted to a nitrate. Fertilizer factories create fertilizers containing ammonium nitrate in a similar process of applying great pressure and extreme heat to atmospheric nitrogen. Certain bacteria that live freely in the soil and have special enzymes can also convert nitrogen. The roots of bean and legume plants and blue-green algae found in water also have these nitrogen-fixing bacteria, which convert nitrogen to either nitrates or ammonia. Amino acids are produced by plants that take up the nitrates or ammonia through fixation, and animals eat the plants. Then when the plants and animals die or release waste, the nitrogen is returned to the soil in the form of ammonia, which bacteria convert to nitrates, which are once again taken up by the plants as the cycle continues. Finally, denitrifying bacteria convert the nitrogen back to a gas form, which is returned to the atmosphere, thus completing the cycle.
Here is a revision of that same paragraph, but this time by only slightly modifying the structure of the sentences, the writer is able to achieve much stronger cohesion—simply by repeating key terms in the front of the sentence and putting new terms and ideas later in the sentence. As a result, the reader quickly discerns the link between one sentence and the next.
The nitrogen cycle is the process of transforming nitrogen from gases into usable nutrients. The cycle begins in the atmosphere, which is the primary reservoir for nitrogen gases. Nitrogen gas found in the atmosphere must be converted to a form usable by living organisms. This conversion process is called a fixation. Nitrogen fixation can occur in several ways. One way is when the extreme energy created by lightning converts nitrogen to a nitrate. This process is duplicated in fertilizer factories to create nitrogen fertilizers. The more common way in which nitrogen fixation occurs is by nitrogen-fixation bacteria whose special enzymes convert the nitrogen. Nitrogen-fixing bacteria can be found living freely in the soil, symbiotically attached to the roots of bean and legume plants, or as blue-green algae commonly found in water. These bacteria convert nitrogen to either nitrates or ammonia. The nitrates or ammonia are then taken up by plants, which convert them into amino acids, which in turn are absorbed by animals when they eat the plants. Then when the plants and animals die or release waste, the nitrogen is returned to the soil in the form of ammonia, which bacteria convert to nitrates, which are once again taken up by the plants as the cycle continues. Finally, denitrifying bacteria convert the nitrogen back to a gas form, which is returned to the atmosphere, thus completing the cycle.
Use Transitional Markers
Another way of achieving cohesion within a paragraph is to use transitional markers. These are words such as however, for example, first . . . second . . . third, and similarly that show readers how a sentence relates to the one preceding it. The choice of transitional marker depends on the kind of relationship we wish to show between two sentences, such as contrast, causation, or example. Here are some of the most common terms used to show various types of relationships:
addition — also, and, in addition, furthermore, moreover
comparison — likewise, similarly, in the same way
contrast — although, but, however, on the other hand, on the contrary, in contrast
illustration — for example, for instance, that is, in other words, specifically, namely
causation — as a result, because, therefore, hence, thus, consequently
time — later, next, soon, then, five years ago, in 2008, last month, afterwards
summary — finally, in conclusion, to sum up
These transitional markers are signals to the reader regarding the relationship between two sentences. When readers come to a however, they expect a statement that is in contrast to the previous statement; when they read for instance, they expect an example to follow. From the readers’ point of view, these markers are like highway signs that tell them which direction your thoughts are going, and the markers allow readers to move smoothly from one point to another.
Notice, for example, how the paragraph below uses various transitional markers to signal the relationships between sentences and helps the reader move from one sentence to the next.
Because of technology, meat producers today are able to put weight on animals at a faster rate than ever before. For example, chicken ranchers mix high-potency vitamins and other supplements in chicken feed and thereby raise a 2 lb.-pound fryer in 7 weeks instead of the usual 3 months. The ratio of feed consumed to weight gained in chickens is increased; hence, it takes less feed to raise a 7-week, 2½-pound fryer. Even fish raisers profit from these technological advances. Similarly, beef feeders are able to increase a weaned steer’s weight an average of 2½ pounds per day—75 pounds a month. The phenomenal increase is due to better control of animal illness as well as to dietary additives. Although consumers usually believe that such dietary supplements should be banned, most of the supplements not only have no harmful effects on human beings, they even benefit consumers because the lower cost to produce the meat is passed on to them.
Most writers are already familiar with the advantages of transitional markers and use them, if anything, too frequently. The tendency is to load up a paragraph with them when the paragraph has problems with unity, but inserting transitional markers will not help a paragraph that is not already well unified and structured.
The one time when we should always use a transitional marker is with discontinuative statements, which are statements that counter the prior direction of thought. Because discontinuative sentences reverse the direction of the preceding sentence, they come as a surprise to the reader if we don’t explicitly signal the reversal; therefore, we need to provide a transitional marker to help readers prepare for the unexpected statement. For example, if we make a series of statements commending an association’s management, but then we bring up a deficiency, we need to insert a transitional marker such as “however” or “on the other hand.”
Cohesion: Linking Pairs of Sentences
The best way to think about cohesion is to view sentences in a paragraph in terms of pairs. How do I link sentence 2 to the preceding one? And then how do I link sentence 3 to sentence 2? And so on. Each sentence needs to be linked to the ones adjacent to it—through repetition of terms and transitional markers.
The sentences within a paragraph should be so tightly tied together that if we jumbled the sentences and asked someone to reconstruct them into a cohesive paragraph, he or she would be able to do so using cues within the sentences.